We have to remain positive to beat the bad people

It takes a strong person to be upbeat and looking forward to the future when they are surrounded by darkness and feel their entire life has collapsed and will never be the same again. If that’s what’s happening to you right now just accept it, because that’s what it’s like to be human with feelings that need to be expressed – let it all out.

If you are a naturally positive person you will in time see that small beam of light from behind the clouds and you will get your life back into perspective again and in the right direction. Sometimes however, this might not seem that easy when it looks as if the whole world is conspiring to keep you feeling miserable

We are surrounded by bad news and there is little chance of escape from the 24 hour a day media circus that wants to remind us all the time about the negative things that are happening across the world.

We are subjected to a daily diet of terrorist attacks on the innocent, reports of abuse, horror crashes, global warming and plastics pollution of our oceans – how long do you want this list to go on. No one it seems wants to report the good news – and there is plenty of it – but it just doesn’t sell newspapers or attract listeners or viewers.

This daily attack on our senses is one of the main reasons why so many people feel so negative. How can you rejoice for example over the birth of a new baby when you have just watched TV and seen dozens of teenagers gunned down at their school?

So what is the answer? Fortunately we have choices. I know of many people who simply refuse anymore to watch the TV or buy newspapers because what they are seeing or reading starts a spiral of negativity and depression.

For most of us this is not a very practical solution. We need to know what is happening in the world – good or bad – which in turn means that we have to be ready to cope with the upset and emotional feelings that it generates.

In reality most of us recoil at the horror of what we are seeing or reading but manage to keep such things in perspective. We know what we are seeing is bad but can detach ourselves from the facts and know that these incidents do not directly affect our particular lives.

However, for some it is more difficult to remain detached. For them it is human to empathise with those who are suffering, particularly when it is graphically brought into their living rooms on a daily basis and it is made even worse if they are going through a particularly dark period.

The daily grind of bad news and events has to be seen for what it really is – just news. It only has the power to affect your mood and create negativity in your life if you allow it. Share a tear of sympathy for those who are suffering but if you really want to help you must be stronger.

Turn your sympathy and negative responses into something more positive. Can you help by sending money or messages of support. Is there a way that you can protest at the injustice of what you have seen or heard?

That is your real choice. You can let bad events darken your mood or you can take common sense action. There is a health warning of course – there always is. You must not let dark thoughts turn you towards anger – that is just negativity under a different name.

Bad things will happen and they are made worse if we react negatively to them. By remaining positive and doing what we can we will slowly stop the bad people. They will never win if all of us remain positive and vow that they cannot turn us into the negative zombies that they have clearly become.

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If it is meant to be then why not help it along

As we speak these words we have no idea what will happen, but hope that the universe will deliver and everyone will be happy with the result. It’s a good start because without realising it you have achieved and delivered a key part of powerful positive thinking, but on its own, it is not enough.

To explain further, you have thought about what you want, delivered the message, consciously or unconsciously and then let it go on the assumption that the universe will do the rest. However, there is a slight catch, because if you really want it to be, then you have to do a little more by totally forgetting about it – and that can be hard to do.

You have used the “if it’s meant to be” phrase because the thing you want to happen is very important to you or someone you love, so your mind will invariably keep going back to it. As you do, you will keep reminding the universe that you don’t have it and as it is the focus of your attention it will perversely assume that this what you really want.

And when that thing fails or does not happen, you will console yourself with the fact that it was never meant to be and look out for signs that something better will come along to reassure you that the big disappointment was definitely a good thing.

Some things of course are never meant to be and there is plenty of evidence to suggest that there is a higher force which frequently sends us in a different direction for our own good. In such cases most of us have an instinct or 6^th sense that something is not quite right and we make our fears known, once again consciously or unconsciously – and believe it or not we are influencing the universe and this is yet another example of powerful positive thinking in action.

But let’s assume that if you have used the “if it is meant to be” phrase for something that you really want for yourself or a loved one and your instinct is ticking all the right boxes then there is nothing wrong with a bit of positive thinking to help things along.

I have already explained that once you are certain about what you want you must forget about it and to help you to do this you must introduce a bit of common sense action. Start concentrating on what it is you need to do to move things along.

That action of course depends on the object or thing that you desire. If it’s a new job then make sure you know everything about the company that may employ you and what is demanded of the role. If you are trying to buy a house make sure you have looked at all the financial options. If you are trying to have children then ensure you know what help is out there.

Everyone’s dream is different so it is impossible for me to come up with a different example for every situation, but you get the idea. You have your dream, it is now at the back of the mind and you have to be ready to give the universe some extra help to make sure it is delivered.

Some people reinforce that action by looking for signs such as feathers, odd words that appear on the side of vehicles etc as you think about the thing or things you want to enter your life and there is nothing wrong with this if it gives you a good feeling and makes you more positive that everything you want will happen.

Finally, I hope you have used plenty of common sense because if you know deep down that it will be almost impossible to achieve what you want then powerful positive thinking will not work for you. If the object of your desire is a country mansion and all you can afford is a small semi then it is a big ask of the universe – but do not be disappointed because you have made another step towards the mansion and next time it will be a little closer.

Because if it is meant to be – then it will be.

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Are you a Radiator or a Drainer?

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How positive thinking helps overcome mental anger

Anger that leads to physical confrontation is a whole different subject and under certain conditions where perhaps you are trying to defend yourself, it can obviously be justified. Those that express their anger in physical attacks and abuse need help as do their poor victims and has little to do with powerful positive thinking.

I am talking about something entirely different that can be so innocuous that few would describe it as real anger. But anger is what it is – maybe mental anger is a better description. It is expressed by continued impatience, road rage, long sighs, disapproval, constant negativity, sulks, short fuses, acrid comments and put downs.

The sad thing is that, more often than not, the people dishing it out have no idea they are doing it or the persons they have turned into – but their partners do – because day by day, minute by minute, they are slowly being worn down by their loved ones. Eventually something has to give – a divorce or separation or even worse, one partner will simply give up and say nothing for a quiet life. If you find that hard to believe just look at the couples in restaurants, eating in total silence.

Have you turned into that angry person? Has stress or the continued pressure of life changed you into such an intolerant being that you find it hard to find any joy in life? If that’s the case you are probably finding every day a struggle and everyone you meet is an irritant and it almost certainly takes very little for you to lose your temper.

Before going further it would be best to get everything into context. If this is a recent problem it can probably be attributed to real ongoing issues such as job or marriage difficulties and yes, you would have a good reason to feel stressed. This is perfectly understandable and hopefully in time you will resolve those issues and be the person you once were.

I am talking instead to the person who has gradually changed over the years, who has allowed life to get them down, the person who now carries all the cares of the planet on his or her shoulders. For you, life has become a daily drudge where you are on autopilot and where you seem to have lost interest in the people that matter.

If that person is you, then this is your wake up call. This is your opportunity to put things right before friends and loved ones decide you are no longer worth the bother. You need to take hold of your life and get rid of that negativity and self-destruction before it is too late.

It is your time to write a new strategy and a new beginning, your opportunity to turn negativity in positivity. The first step has to be realisation that you are willing to change and if that is the case then let the people who matter most to you know that you have had this “Road to Damascus” moment – because they will understand and want to help.

Regular readers will know that I write about common sense powerful positive thinking and right now you will need plenty of common sense if you are to go forward. You will need a pen and paper to write down and acknowledge the person you have become. Do this with your loved ones if it helps because they will be relieved that you want to change. Be sure to add all the things that you have been worrying about or getting stressed over – they never seem so big when you actually acknowledge them in this way.

By writing down a description of the person you have become you now have the power to make those vital corrections. Add another sentence by stating that person no longer exists. Then you must carry on writing by describing the person you want to be. Don’t be shy or self-effacing – you have a lot of catching up to do and with the help of a friend or partner they will remind you of the person you once were.

Finally address the things that have been consciously or unconsciously worrying you and write out a strategy of how you intend to overcome them. Once you are happy that your specification addresses all the issues and includes a positive plan for the way ahead – then destroy that piece of paper.

Maybe you and your partner or friend could make a big ceremony out of doing this. It is your way of telling the universe that you are a changed person and have a strategy in place to deliver those changes. When that paper is finally destroyed you must forget all about it – the universe has got the message and does not want you to keep thinking about it.

Concentrate instead on your plan of action. Starting working on those worries whether they are personal, financial or life in general and things will improve. You will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

You have used powerful positive thinking, plenty of common sense and the action you are taking now will change your life forever.

from Powerful Positive Thinking https://www.powerfulpositivethinking.org/how-positive-thinking-helps-overcome-mental-anger/
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Positive thinking and the power of common sense

I want you to succeed, I want your lives to improve, I want you to attract more money into your life, I want you to attract more love, or whatever it is that you most desire. All these things are possible when you practice positive thinking and much, much more.

So why is it then that so many people fail to embrace positive thinking and quickly give up? They buy all the right self-help books, they do all the right recommended exercises, they make dozens if not hundreds of affirmations with the intensity of a long distance runner – and they achieve nothing.

I have seen mood boards that would grace an art gallery. You can download a massive cheque from bank of the Universe and put it over your bed, or PC or on the fridge and still nothing happens – the overdraft stays the same and the credit card bills are still a struggle.

Many embrace positive thinking with such intensity that they manage to produce the exact opposite of what they originally intended and that really is a worrying phenomenon because it means their lives get worse, they blame the universe for the situation and so the downward cycle continues.

I have no doubt that the people who write self-help books are sincere and probably have well documented evidence that everything they say has worked for them. They give the best possible advice and while it may succeed for some, the majority of people will read the books, quickly forget what was discussed or find the solutions suggested too arduous or time consuming.

If you think I am wrong tell me what you really remember from the last self-help book you read? If it helps I can tell you a few common themes. Most of these authors will tell you that they lived at the side of the road, had not had a meal for six months, all their friends and lovers have deserted them but today they are multi-millionaires, happily married etc because they discovered a secret formula. I am obviously exaggerating and of course it doesn’t apply to every author – but you get the picture.

The real secret to positive thinking is common sense. If you think you will get a jackpot lottery win then you will probably be disappointed because a little voice will always be telling you it is impossible and undoing all your good work. Positive thinking succeeds if you believe it is possible.

This applies to everything you are trying to focus on. If you believe it is possible and doable then as sure as night follows day, it will happen for you, so if it is money you need start with something a little more modest, something you can really believe in – the bigger stuff can wait. Once you start attracting the smaller stuff, the rest will get easier.

Most self-help books also like the idea of repetition, regular affirmations particularly as you go to sleep or wake up. If this works for you then great, but in reality the more you focus on something the more you keep telling the universe that you don’t have it – and the universe in turn responds by ensuring it will never come your way.

Want a simple example of this working. Just think back to when you were trying to attract a boyfriend/girlfriend and the more you concentrated on that person, the further away they seemed to be, but the ones you hardly thought about were always there – that’s a small example of focussed positive thinking in reverse – and it’s happened to us all. You really got to relax if you want to make the right things happen.

The universe wants to help, but it can only do so if you are willing to help yourself. You have to decide what it is you want – it helps if you can write it down, even better, make it a target that is achievable such as a new job, a wage rise, bonus company car – let’s get the basics right first.

As you write this down, try and visualise how this is going to happen and what action you are going to take to move things along. Then, like everything to do with Powerful Positive Thinking, you must destroy that piece of paper and try never to think about it again.

The universe has really got your message. You don’t call Amazon every day and ask if they got your order so why do it with the universe. Concentrate instead on the action you intend to take and don’t give the order a second thought – it is on its way.

So let’s go over it one more time. Whatever you want to attract make sure that you have used plenty of common sense. Why concentrate on the lottery win when it would be a big help to get the credit cards paid off, why concentrate on being Prime Minister when you might be able to make an impact first in local Government – you get the idea.

Once you have set your goals then assume that the universe is now working with you and totally forget about them. Concentrate instead on a bit of positive action to make things better in your life. You are now on the right road to a better future – and all it took was a bit of common sense – how easy is that.

from Powerful Positive Thinking https://www.powerfulpositivethinking.org/positive-thinking-and-the-power-of-common-sense/
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Make the decision to leave that employment rut

If you are feeling negative right now about the working day and if this is happening on a regular basis, then you don’t need me to tell you that you are in the wrong career and probably in the wrong company. Steve Jobs, the man who made Apple into the success story it is today, had the right words for it: “The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.”

So what’s the problem with you? If you dislike the job or the company you are working for, why are you still going in every day instead of looking for something better? What’s really holding you back from a glorious and vibrant future?

It’s time for a bit of honesty I guess, for it seems that the only thing or person, holding you back is – YOU. Please don’t give me a whole list of excuses as to why you have chosen to remain in an employment rut because these are the things that you have invented to justify the situation.

Let’s take a look at some of these excuses. Try this for size: “It’s the only job I can get.” Ok! Let’s assume that you are very young or have no skills and you have opted to work in the local burger bar because that’s all there was. Many of the world’s most successful entrepreneurs started in this way – learned from the experience and moved on – so what’s stopping you?

Maybe you have convinced yourself that you put up with the job because it fits in with your children’s, husbands, wives lives – a price you are willing to pay even though you hate going in every day. Even worse, perhaps you convinced yourself that this is probably the best you can get.

Putting up with second best is the worst excuse of the lot because when you adopt that mind-set it means, that more than likely you will become the office doormat, the person everyone goes to because they cannot be asked to do the job themselves.

Sorry to sound harsh but if you are reading this blog it is because you obviously want to embrace the concept of powerful positive thinking, but it would seem that you are not prepared to use one of the most vital components of PPT – I mean action.

If you are identifying with any of this then taking action is what you have to do, but that doesn’t mean throwing the baby out with the bathwater, it invites you instead to just stop for a moment and take a long hard look at your life.

You have got so used to the daily drudge that you are now on autopilot and things just happen. You have stopped questioning them, you do what you have to do to get by and have not asked yourself if you are happy with the situation.

Clearly you are not and now is your time to put things right and here is what you are going to do. Find yourself a quiet room where you will not be disturbed and arm yourself with a blank piece of paper and a pen.

Write down everything you feel about your current job and why you want to move on. You can go into as much detail as you wish because this is the only way you will be able to clarify your thoughts. You need common sense to take the next step because this is where you identify the kind of job you want and what you would like to do in your working life.

When I say common sense there is little point in wanting to be a brain surgeon if you are unlikely to ever obtain the skills needed for the line of work. Better to think of something you love doing and don’t forget to specify the kind of salary you need – write it down but be realistic.

The third point is the action. Write down your intentions to help your dream come true. Detail your actions such as writing or e-mailing employers, speaking to a recruitment company – and don’t forget to state that your main intention is to leave your present employment for the glorious opportunities that will now reveal themselves to you.

This is the best bit. Read that paper again and then destroy it, the universe has got your message and you need never ask again. Try never to think about it because by keep focusing on that specification you are doing the complete opposite of positive thinking by highlighting the fact that you have not got what you most desire. This is why I dislike the process of continued affirmations and mood boards – as all it does is remind you that something is missing.

You have now taken the decision to move on and in the words of Steve Jobs – you are now looking.

from Powerful Positive Thinking https://www.powerfulpositivethinking.org/make-the-decision-to-leave-that-employment-rut/
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Words can wound – so make the decision to let them go

It is frequently the unsaid hurt that cannot be shared for fear that it may seem trivial to others that does the most damage. And because you continually hold that thought, your mind keeps going back over that same old phrase or, at key times in your life there will be a catalyst trigger that forever reminds you of the pain you still feel.

No one can erase that memory but if you are ever to move on you need to rationalise why those words wounded you so much. This particularly applies to adults who keep harbouring back to childhood taunts from other students or negative phrases their parents used when they were growing up.

You are not the person you were then, so why should you still be feeling the same? Is it possible that you somehow still want the approval of your parents who are probably totally unaware that they have ever been the cause of your pain? Do you harbour thoughts of bitterness and constantly contemplate revenge against former friends, colleagues or associates? We talk more about this later.

For the moment let’s look at the words themselves. They hurt because they were personal to you, particularly at that precise time and while they might not mean much to the person who delivered them, they managed to hit the target in your particular case.

Let’s take a look at the possible permutations. Maybe you were told that you were fat, or ugly, or useless, a loser or slow witted. Maybe your sexuality was questioned, perhaps it was a vile reference to your colour or culture – you get the idea – and it was personal to you.

But why did it hurt so much? I am guessing it’s because the person who delivered those words was or still is very close to you. You can only be wounded by remarks from people you care about and if they do not feel the same way, or if they lack any kind of social awareness and empathy, then they have this power to inflict damage.

You have probably got the picture by now, so what are we going to do about it? There are obviously many different variables to consider here, but let’s first tackle the most obvious and consider that you are in an abusive relationship. You do not have to be beaten up on a regular basis to feel real hurt – it is the mental wounds that take the greatest toll.

Those daily comments sap your self-esteem and you give them traction because you still harbour love for the person who is delivering the abuse. There is really only one solution; you have to leave this relationship for your sake and possibly the happiness of others in your family. You have to somehow summon up the courage to leave. I go into more detail in other blogs on this site which gives a road map of the way ahead for those suffering frequent abuse and I hope they will provide inspiration.

However, there are many others who are not in abusive relationships where words, whether meant or not, have destroyed friendships, families and careers. These words have caused such hurt or offence that you wonder whether things can ever be the same again.

These words may have been uttered decades ago but they still have power over you and only you can put it right. You must first lose any bitterness and be ready to forgive, even if it means only telling the universe – just let it go. It may be hard to do but unless you are prepared to take that vital first step, you will never be able to move on.

If you feel you can then reach out to the person who originally hurt you and let them know how you felt, you might be amazed how horrified and sorry they are. Most of us are not very good at communicating and most of the time we say things without realising the consequences.

Just be ready to make that first step because if words are eating you up from the inside then it really is time to get rid of them. A word of caution however – there is little point in manufacturing a confrontation. It will only result in more harsh words and that’s not the idea – you just have to accept that some people are really not worth it – and just being able to do that will help you unload the hurt.

Only you can let it go and NOW is the time.

from Powerful Positive Thinking https://www.powerfulpositivethinking.org/words-can-wound-so-make-the-decision-to-let-them-go/
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Divorce and how you can become a whole person again

Now, the moment you were dreading most has happened. Suddenly, the future has never looked this bleak as the world you knew collapses around you. Not only does the love of your life want to leave, but there are all the other things – children, friends, finance – right now you believe that life will never be the same again.

Well-meaning friends are useless as their natural instinct is to side with you and criticise the person you still love the most. Even worse, the people you regarded as best friends are no longer there when you need them because they are unwilling to take sides – or even worse as realisation dawns that they knew what was happening all the time and never once thought to tell you.

I think you get the picture and if you have lived or are currently living through the pain of parting and divorce, the last thing you need is a lecture in positivity from a writer like me. Be assured – that’s not going to happen. Positive thinking comes much later and we will talk about that when you are ready. What I would really like you to do right now is get angry, but only on condition that it’s not with yourself.

You can choose where you wish to focus that anger whether it’s directly at your partner, former friends, work colleagues – it doesn’t matter because right now it is very therapeutic. Let the tears roll – you have been hurt – and to state the obvious, it will help.

You must also stop blaming yourself. Going over the past will change nothing and partnership is about two people. So don’t magnify all the things you think you did incorrectly as they no longer matter.

At some stage realisation will dawn that you have to move on and this is the point where you must now be strong, believe in yourself and be positive that your life is going to get better from this point on – and it will.

To do that you need a strategy, a plan going forward that will take you to a better place. It could well be that now that the dust has settled you find that you and your former partner could become reconciled. Maybe this was the wakeup call you both needed and if this is what you want then that’s fantastic- but remember your strategy needs lots of forgiveness and a set of ground rules for the future.

For most the parting will be permanent so your strategy has to be about you, your children if they are involved, your financial security and how you wish to lead your life as a strong person. This may be difficult because you are still feeling very bruised, but the anger has diminished and you are ready to embrace powerful positive thinking.

Start by writing everything down about your situation. Make it into a war and peace essay if you wish but as you write down your future – and this is what we are talking about – ensure that it contains a huge dose of common sense. Get rid of the bitterness and try to forgive. If you do not let go then it will only affect you in the long term and prevent you from moving on.

Are you happy with the strategy? Did you remember to put together a common sense wish list of how you want things to develop in the future? If the answer is yes then please destroy that piece of paper and have faith that the message has reached the universe and try if you can, never to think about it again. If you keep on focussing on that strategy all you will be telling the universe is it has yet to be delivered – so as hard as it will seem – forget it.

The next step is to feel positive that everything in your life is about to improve, feel excited about the prospect if you wish but don’t keep going over affirmations and mood boards – the universe really did get your message and doesn’t need constant reminders.

It would prefer it instead if you actually took a bit of action to bring your new life into reality. Look for that new home, job, social group, hobby or whatever it is that brings joy into your life and just see how things begin to improve.

I have left it to the end to talk about the fears you might have right now as you go forward. You are very brave but your positive mind-set will give you the strength you need. You may falter occasionally, but that will be just a small traffic jam in comparison to the wonderful journey you are now taking.

Before ending this short blog I have to mention loneliness. It may have been a very lonely journey so far since the day you first had your heart ripped out. But you are now feeling better and stronger and if you can remain positive life will be better than you ever imagined and in time someone new will enter your life.

That process will take place far more quickly if you have devised you strategy and ended all bitterness. The future really is in your hands.

from Powerful Positive Thinking https://www.powerfulpositivethinking.org/divorce-and-how-you-can-become-a-whole-person-again/
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