How positive thinking helps beat the group bully mentality

We are instead talking about everyday groups of individuals who have come together and without realising it have this enormous power to do good or create mayhem and negativity with those who do not share their views – but what happens when you become the victim or target of such groups?

Practicing positive thinking when it looks as if the whole world is against you can be difficult, but if you can embrace it then you will find that you can move on and life will get a whole lot better – positive thinking can give you that strength and later I will show you how.

Peer pressure or going along with the majority view seems to be the norm nowadays, but if you scrape away at the surface you will find that it’s usually down to one or two strong minded individuals who make a lot of noise – and they seem to decide how the rest should think and act and they decide the rules.

They stifle individuality and positive thinking and because these individuals are assertive and in many cases intimidating it’s easy to accept that they must be right and we endorse their opinions as being fact.

We all want to be part of the “in crowd.” Being popular and accepted by others is an understandable life choice. Young people, particularly teenagers searching to establish their own identities, especially feel the need to belong to such groups.

But such situations create negative actions and thinking where like-minded groups seek out those who do not agree with or act like them. Worst case scenario means that those outside the group tend to be the targets. Those in the group turn into bullies and we can see it on social media, at work and in hundreds of different social situations.

This blog is about helping those that are the targets but if you are in such a group and you enjoy gossiping or complaining about other individuals then you are part of a bullying network and you should consider your actions. Bullying is not always about anger and physical attack.

If you are the victim then you have to make a few decisions – you have to decide who you are and you need to be strong. You must not let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your life – it’s not about them, it’s about you.

Yes, it hurts, especially the constant comments and abuse – that’s how bully groups with their feelings of self-entitlement get their oxygen. It’s a real let down when they see no trace of a reaction from you – so if you never react you are getting your own back, believe me.

You can also help your own self esteem by then doing what matters most to you and by doing what makes you feel alive and happy. Decide what will really make a difference in your life, write it down and as you do imagine that you are succeeding and every day it comes a little nearer to fruition – this is positive thinking in practice.

You then have to take action to make your dream materialise but do not be put off by others and disregard their expectations – they are nothing to do with you. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself – that’s why positive thinking will help you choose where you are going.

Look around this website and there are plenty of examples of how positive thinking is helping to change lives. If you are really suffering from group abuse I also urge you to take part in our free 30 Positivity course.

But for the moment, I am going to let you into the biggest secret of all. As the group bullies pick on you they are working on the basis that every day they are making you feel a worse and that is how they get their strength.

However, if all they see is a positive person getting on with their life and achieving things that they can only dream of, you begin to create a situation where they lose all their power and you become the winner – not a bully like them – because you’re in charge now.

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How to ditch the regrets and replace them with positive thinking

It is one of the most useless emotions anyone can have simply because you cannot change the past, you cannot rewrite something that has long since gone and the more you dwell on it, the more you allow such thoughts and feelings to hold you back.

Please do not confuse regret with guilt, another major contender in the league table of useless emotions. Regret is the idea that you wish you had done something differently when you had the chance. Guilt on the other hand is the result of you choosing to do something which may well have hurt others or the belief that you have let someone down and that is for another blog.

Regret that you did not choose to take that big job opportunity, or maybe your said no to a fantastic proposal, perhaps you gave up the chance of a lifetime to help another, possibly helping an aged parent or supporting a partner to your own detriment – I could carry on with examples here, but I guess you get the idea.

And here you are today wondering what might have been, wondering if your life would have been different had you taken another decision when you reached that particular crossroad in your life. You need to know that it doesn’t matter. You made what you thought was the right decision at the time and you are now looking back and picking out all the best bits and are creating a false picture of how things could have turned out. I say false because you do not know for sure.

In the absence of a crystal ball none of us have any idea what might have happened. That dream partner might have turned out to be a monster for all you know, the big job opportunity might have turned sour. You however can only see the good things that could have happened – nothing wrong with that – except that now regret has crept in it has convinced you that everything would have been wonderful – if only.

That’s the trouble with regret. It paints a false picture which you have allowed to colour over the years completely forgetting about your reasons for saying no at the time and if you are reading this and nodding along in agreement, then what do you intend to do about it.

Positive thinking has a role to play here because what you need to do now is to somehow put your regrets into some sort of perspective. If they have been causing you are a problem then you will need to once again go back in time and revisit them and those crossroads moments?

That should be the easy bit. Especially if you have been holding on to all those regrets for some time. So here you are in the past – tell me now, what would you have done differently. Revisit the reasons you said no at the time and ask yourself the big question – looking at your life now and the way it has turned out, would you really have changed anything?

As we bring you back to the present you now need to ask another question. Have all these regrets been holding you back? If the answer is yes then you must use positive thinking and make that decision to remove them from your life.

Many people find it helpful to write them down in some detail. Add all the different scenarios that could have happened if it helps – these are your regrets that we are talking about here. When you have completed the list write in bold letters that they no longer have any part in your life.

Now here comes the best bit. Destroy that list, shred it, burn it, but get rid of it and as you do you are symbolically destroying past regrets in the knowledge that the only thing that you can change is your future.

When you are ready you can then decide what that future is going to be now that you have let go of the past. So you had better get that list out again and start working with that great Amazon of the Universe. There are plenty of blogs on this website which will show you how.

It is now time to map out your new life with Powerful Positive Thinking, common sense and action – you will regret it if you don’t - so what are you waiting for.

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Believe in positive thinking and you are half way there

It is no coincidence that all great men and women have a positive outlook on life. They always expect to succeed and more often than not they will achieve nearly every one of their objectives. They will of course fail, like all of us, from time to time but they will learn from the experience and will not be beaten by it.

They are no different to you or I – the only real variable is that they have allowed positive thinking and a positive mind-set to work for them in many diverse and innovative ways. It protects them during times of adversity, it helps shape their decisions in life and it allows them to be better and friendlier which in turn attracts co-operation from others.

They make it look so easy, often attracting envy and admiration in equal measures and others want to know all about their secret ingredient.  It is not difficult to identify that special factor even if you discount the obvious advantages such as an inborn natural and unique talent for one particular thing such as singing or sport.

It’s easy because every single one of us has it inside us and if you allow positive thinking to work for you it is ready to do your bidding – all you have to do is believe and you’re halfway there says Mr Roosevelt and there are many famous and highly successful people who agree with him.

Of course it is not that simple – even successful people know that – which is why they keep their positive thinking realistic. They use common sense when they plan their futures striving for what they BELIEVE is possible set against their own personal lifestyle.

They know that success is unlikely to come all at once so they work towards it a little at a time never forgetting what they want, never taking their eyes off the target. You see this with famous singers and actors who suddenly appear to become an overnight sensation. We conveniently forget that they have probably been plying their trade in dusty halls and small theatres around the country for years looking for that big break.

Self-made multi-millionaires did not get that way overnight either. They started off by making a few hundred pounds or dollars, then this gradually turned into thousands and then one day they suddenly realised that the millionaire life style had finally arrived.

So you have to be realistic as well, but what does that really mean for the majority who have not got the patience or willpower to turn their dreams into reality. Not a problem if you are prepared to use common sense and action but if you are sitting there believing you will win the lottery or become a major sporting or singing star in the next few weeks you will probably be disappointed.

A lottery win would be great but wouldn’t a few hundred make a difference. Aim for that instead and once you learn how positive thinking really works then you can go after the bigger stuff. You are unlikely to be the next big soccer star unless you are prepared to work an apprenticeship with a small club.

The trouble is most people want it all and they want it now, to quote the Freddy Mercury lyrics from Queen and that does not sit well with positive thinking. Suddenly it all becomes very intense as you continually focus all that attention on just one outcome.

As regular readers know once you start doing that you create a reverse situation where the Law of Attraction misinterprets the signals and assumes that you are so intense that you don’t really want it –to use modern parlance – the computer says no.

So there you have it – believe it but if you want to deliver your dream then remember that baby steps are best and let your victories come one at a time and then of course you will be ready to take on that big lottery of life dream –  and don’t forget, because you believed – you are already half way there.

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