Who gave you permission to feel useless – it stops here

I find it very strange that some take such delight in criticising others. They seem to get pleasure in making other people miserable by undermining their peace of mind and making them feel inadequate. When this happens over a long period they will finally succeed in making the target of their comments feel unworthy.

We see this in schools where groups gang up on other pupils, more often on social media, using vile language to undermine and we frequently see the tragic consequences of such actions, where the vulnerable have been pushed to the very brink of suicide and sadly beyond.

We see this in abusive relationships where one bullying partner continuously undermines the other with vile comments until thy finally break. We see it in the work place from aggressive bosses and workmates.

If this is you then it’s about time you fought back and reclaimed your self-esteem. They may have sapped your feelings of worth; they may have dented your courage, you may even have forgotten the person you used to be – but it stops now.

I am not suggesting for a minute that you should confront anyone, why give them the satisfaction of thinking they have got to you in anyway. You are better than that because you are going to take your life back again, you are going to hold your head up high and amaze the world.

It starts with your commitment to be a powerful positive person. Others have allowed you to concentrate on the negative and have slowly filled your head with their garbage so it’s time to take it down the tip where it rightfully belongs.

Start by writing down how you feel now and how you have been made to feel. If the mental abuse has been going on for some time it might be a very long list, but that doesn’t matter – let it all pour out on to that piece of paper and you will immediately start to feel a little better.

When you have let it all out than write this sentence underneath: “These feeling and negative emotions no longer have any place in my life.” Put it in big bold letters so that the Universe gets the message and when you are ready, destroy it in the most dramatic way you can think of. It is your way of sending out that message and making sure it gets delivered.

I then want you to forget about it because it’s all in the past and there is no reason to ever bring it up again. If you keep thinking about this message then the Universe will incorrectly assume that you are missing your past misery – and will ensure that it is sent right back to you.

Now we need to concentrate on the new you so let’s start again with list number two. This is where you write down the person you used to be, vibrant, confident and just for good measure add a bit more such as – “I am a winner, I am beautiful (handsome), people like me and enjoy my company, I am good fun to be with.”

Once again, you can make this list as long as you like. There is no one else on the planet quite like you so feel free to indulge yourself – after all – you have waited long enough. When you are happy with your list, then once again, destroy it and totally forget all about it to allow the Universe to do its work.

Concentrate instead on list number three which covers the common sense actions you intend to take towards the new you. You do not have to destroy or forget about this one because this is a key part of your positive thinking strategy.

So what might those actions be?  Everyone is different but you might start with the decision to distance yourself from your tormentors. You might want to look for new friends, change your job, join a club – you choose as long as it is something that makes you happy.

And here comes the best bit, every day I want you to stand in front of the biggest mirror in your home and say out out loud: “ I am fantastic, I am a winner, I am a success, I am loved” and just for the hell of it, think up a few others if it makes you feel good.

Before I go I suppose I should also let into a little secret regarding people who put down others. The Universe doesn’t like it very much and when these people are spitting out their negative bile then all they guarantee is that sooner or later it comes straight back at them – magnified tenfold.

So spare a thought for the nasty people – in the long term they are the only victims of their negativity – and maybe we should feel sorry for them. Nahhhhhh! Me neither.

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Negative phrases and how you can eliminate them from your life

They are the complete opposite to everything we know about the power of positive thinking, because every time you use or think such a phrase you are telling the Universe that you are worthless and totally unfit to receive any of the good things in life – and that’s exactly what you will attract, nothing that is ever worth having and nothing that will ever improve your life for the better.

You will not be surprised when it all goes wrong for you, because that’s what you expect. You have been saying as much for years as you experience one disappointment after another, further reinforcing exactly what you think.

The Universe is like a giant computer. It has no grey areas of understanding and will literally accept your personal software programme. If you are telling it that you are useless or that everything goes wrong for you, it will assume that is really what you want.

So how do we change all this? Later on in this article we will be looking at ways to help you stop using these dangerous self-defeating words so that you can set about altering your life and attracting the good things.

But before we can do this we need to look at every single one these negative phrases just to make sure we discard all of them. This is my hit list of words that are never to be used together with the other two mentioned  in the first paragraph, but feel free to add a few of your own.

• I cannot do this
• What will people think?
• I am always alone
• I do not deserve this
• If only I had more
• What if (please add subject)
• This is impossible
• I am useless, ugly, a failure, not as good as them etc.

I think you should have the idea by now. These are banned phrases because they cause so much self-destruction, but the chances they have become engrained into you sub conscious, possibly by a parent, teacher, or someone else in authority and you now believe them to be fact.

The first thing you need is one of our PPT wristbands because we are going ping these phrases out of your mind. If you have not got one you can apply for yours via this link – www.powerfulpositivethinking.org or if you prefer you can use any band, even an elastic band.

We then need a whole list of substitute phrases to offset the negative ones you have been using for years so that when you find yourself thinking or using them you will ping your wristband and immedicably substitute it or them for something more positive.

So for example “I am not good enough” or “I am a failure” becomes “I can make this succeed” or “I have the power to make this happen.” Don’t forget to use your wristband to reinforce the fact that you have substituted a positive phrase for a negative one.

“What will people think” can be replaced by “people think well of me and support me in my actions;” exchange “I do not deserve this” for “I have worked hard for this and the success that is coming my way.”

Get into the habit of exchanging negative phrases for the exact opposite, ping the band and gradually you will begin to see subtle changes for the better occurring in your life because you do deserve the good things and until now, the only barrier has been you.

Finally, just to make sure that all of these negative phrases are eliminated and to reduce the possibility of them ever returning, write them all down on a piece of paper. Put as many down as you like and when you are ready write the sentence – “these phrases no longer have any place in my life.”

Complete the sentence and have one final read to make sure you have not missed anything and then destroy that paper. It is your way of sending out the message to the Universe that things have changed and that you expect a better response in the future – and do you know what – you will.

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How to rid yourself of those feelings of guilt

Please do not confuse feeling guilty with genuine remorse – there are some things that are just bad – particularly where others are deliberately targeted or attacked and in such situations those people have every right to feel guilty and can never atone unless they are truly sorry.

Thankfully, most of us are not naturally bad people, but still suffer from serious feelings of guilt which can be mentally debilitating – and here’s the really sad thing – in most cases it is totally unnecessary and can be beaten – so let show you how.

Feelings of guilt are probably one of the most pointless emotions that we humans have ever created, because it is impossible to change the past and while you keep dwelling on what might have been – you can never move forward – and you can never have real positivity.

If you are truly to practice Powerful Positive Thinking then you most rid yourself of all feelings of guilt. Yes, there may be people around you who might want someone to blame and it may suit them and you to be a convenient scapegoat, but sooner or later something will have to give if you are to return to the light.

Until then all positivity is supressed as you wallow in feelings of self-pity – sorry to put it so strongly but sometimes harsh words are needed to get attention. Your loved ones are not blaming you from the grave because you were not around at the time they passed over – they understood that you were always there for them and always did your best.

This applies to anything else you might feel guilty about. Everyone else has long moved on from any perceived situation where you felt you had failed or let people down. We are all human and sometimes we will get things wrong and others will get hurt but you cannot put your life on hold going over and over what might have been.

Yes, there might still be people who are still angry with you, they might feel bitter because their lives have changed for the worse and they feel that you are to blame. That requires forgiveness on their part so they can also move forward, but it is your life we are talking about here – and not there’s.

If this sounds selfish then it’s because you cannot be there for the people that still matter in your life if you are still locked in the past. There are people that need you to be strong and who want to see you smile – so are you ready to a marker in the sand and start again?

Firstly, let’s take a look at whatever is causing these feelings of guilt. Write them down in as much detail as you can, don’t hold back because this is your way of confronting this negativity and seeing it for what it really is.

Something triggered these feelings and while it may have been a natural reaction at the time, things have now moved on. Are you still clinging on to these emotions because you want to punish yourself? Are you really sure that the incident concerned is now still relevant and do people really care?

By writing all this down you will see your feelings of guilt through a fresh pair of eyes – and yes, while there may still be a huge amount of regret and sadness, you now have the opportunity to confront it and put it into perspective.

See it for what it is and then start to be kind to yourself, write down that you’re sorry if your actions upset or injured anyone. If you must, then check if there is any solution available to correct what you think you have done – and if the answer is no then you must now move on.

Return to the writing pad and use the power of positive thinking to specify where you want to go from here. Write down the kind of life you want, use plenty of common sense with this and then finally describe what action you are going to take to make this happen.

Your new life starts here and your first action is to destroy that piece of paper – it is your way of sending your order to the Universe. Now forget all about it and concentrate on the action and let the Universe weave its magic.

You have shouldered these feelings of guilt for too long so let the Universe take the strain from here.

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This is your reward for completing the Challenge

Every time you think negatively then the 30 days have to start again until you can complete the challenge and then – and only then – can you apply. They look great next to our purple bands and a double reminder that you took the challenge and won – and permanent reminder to keep thinking positively

The white wristband is free but we do ask for a contribution of £1.95 towards postage and packing and if you now qualify and want a record of your success then click the pay button and your band will be on its way.

Yes, I want my Completion wristband (click below to pay for the P&P)

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Why giving up something is always a positive thing

You will see plenty or articles that tell you never to give up, keep trying, don’t let the ****** grind you down. If you are in a war zone fighting for your very life then of course you must keep trying – giving up is not an option.

But in just about every other case, giving up is the only way to go if you are to ever move on in your life and while you may have to make a few difficult decisions the end result will be worth it, if you are doing it for the right reasons.

When you really get down to it, giving up is really about your reaction to any given situation and the thing, the person or object you are discarding. If you are a positive person then you will view all this as a real step forward – if you are negative then it will be all about failure and you will continually dwell on it. This is why most people wrongly associate giving something up as being negative.

So let’s get down to the real point of this article and discuss why you should always feel positive when you make the decision to move on, stop, change course or look for something new in your life.

Let’s start with the easy options such as giving up smoking, alcohol or drugs. We all know that has to be a good thing, we know all of these things have the ability to kill us and we all know how anti-social they can be – so what’s the problem.

Easy you say, yes, have been there myself, so I know you might need a little bit of willpower, but unless you make the decision to be positive about giving up these things, it isn’t going to happen. Giving up will then be about the negative side of your ego, you will magnify the cravings, create arguments with loved ones who you hope will prefer it if you started all over again rather than be the monster you have become.

You have concentrated on the negative rather than the positive benefits of being heathier, richer, less smelly, and less moody – so you need positive thinking in your life to see that giving up such things is good for you and until you do – you will never give up – ever.

It’s a similar situation when you make the decision to give up on a bad relationship. If you invest in negative thoughts that you might be lonely, short of money or believe you have let people down then you can never move on. The negativity will act as a creeping paralysis – fear that will gradually take over to prevent change.

Invest in the positive and you will see a glowing future full of possibilities, a new freedom and opportunities that until now have prevented you from being a real person. Yes, you will always have a memory of that person or situation, but you outgrew them and took the right action – just when it was needed – you moved on.

You might have started a business and now you can see that it is not working out. You are rapidly running out of cash but you have been told never to give up and it’s creating stress and worry and the thought of closing it down sounds like failure.

You are locked into negativity and your positive mood must be to take action, restrict your losses, learn from the experience and move on. Only your negative ego is preventing this move from happening and when you do people will respect you for it.

You will start again, strengthened by the experience and ready to do battle, but once again you may take a wrong turn and once again you have to start for a third, fourth, fifth time – that’s life and each time you will learn.

Giving up something is good for you, it is a positive step forward because you have outgrown it. The only thing holding you back is your own fears and ego, your concerns about what others may think. Do you know what – it doesn’t matter.

You looked into the future and saw the light to a new you – giving up was the first step – so what is stopping you from taking it?

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Fear of success is only for the unworthy – and that’s not you

It seems ironic that while so many crave success and the fame and fortune that goes with it there are those that fear it with the same level of passion – at least it seems that way especially when you discover that success and the way we react to it, means different things to different people.

At the most basic level there are those that never want to be seen to be standing out in a crowd. That could mean never putting your hand up in class, never volunteering or putting yourself forward for even the most mundane of tasks, always sitting in the back row, hoping you will go unnoticed.

Fear of success in such cases means the potential for humiliation, the thought that people will laugh at you if you get it wrong. Much better not to try, than to take the risk of public rejection. Confused, I expect you are, because what I am describing sounds more like the fear of failure – so let’s explain the difference.

The two are closely linked, but while the variations may be subtle – they are still very much poles apart. Fear of failure is all about wanting something badly but being too afraid to pursue the dream. Fear of success is the worry that great things will be foisted upon you and you will not be worthy, so best not to try.

This feeling of unworthiness is the real key to understanding fear of success and when you can get that idea fixed in your mind then you can then look to use positive thinking as a potential solution and embrace the real benefits that success brings.

However, unworthiness also comes in many different forms so you need understand the levers that make you feel this way. The most common relates to money where sufferers feel that they should not have been so blessed or have been more fortunate than others. They find it difficult to cope when they see poverty and lack and as a consequence feel guilty that they have been successful while others have not.

It is no good telling such people that there is plenty to go around and everyone can enjoy the same success and prosperity if they practice positive thinking. They have heard for example all the stories that being rich cannot relate to religious beliefs – the best known being about the rich man, the camel and the eye of the needle which implies that the wealthy will never enter heaven.

In spite of these fears there are many who still reach the greatest heights even though they fear being unable to cope with what it brings. Such people conveniently forget that they can use their wealth to benefit the poor and make a difference in a way that reflects their means – they can only see the guilt and as a result are unable to enjoy their money and what it can do.

Even worse is the scenario that those that have the ability to be rich reject the idea because they feel they will never be able to handle money. Equally, they never aspire to let the world see their talent for fear they will not be able to handle fame.

There are many similar variations which all relate to fear of success so you should now have an idea by now as to whether I am talking about someone like you. If the answer is yes then we should set about doing something about it.

First you need a plan and like many other areas of powerful positive thinking you need a piece of paper and a pen and you must write down your specification to the Universe. Put all your fears to one side for the moment and write down the thing or things you wish to achieve in life. Use bucket loads of common sense when you do this – by keeping it real you will make it happen.

Once you are happy with your aspirations you now need to tackle the fears. Be open and honest and write down everything that is worrying you and preventing your progress. This is very important because you are now confronting those fears and by doing this then they do not seem so daunting.

All done – then progress to the third section and write down a plan of action that will help you and the Universe deliver your aspirations. This is your specification, it is personal to you so read it again and amend where necessary because when you are happy with it – you must destroy it – the more dramatically, the better.

That is your signal to the Universe that your order has been delivered. Now it is important that you forget about it and concentrate instead on the action. If you keep focussing on what you want it will never happen?

You have done all the hard work, you have confronted your fears and given yourself the power – so what are you waiting for. It is now ready to happen for you.

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Fear of change? Freedom is yours whenever you’re ready

Millions remain in relationships that no longer work, jobs that have no future, homes that are no longer suitable because fear of change will never allow them to see a brighter alternative. Moving on for them means they might have to settle for something even worse – and they are unwilling to take that risk.

If you are reading this article and finding yourself nodding in agreement, what are you going to do about it? You know that this irrational fear is ruining your life so if you are ready to call a halt to everything that has been holding you back – then I have some good news for you – change is coming and you will succeed. All you need is a little push and here it comes – a massive dose of powerful positive thinking, mega lashings of common sense and the ability to take action to get rid of this fear forever.

So far so good but before you can take this next step you need to understand why and how this fear of change has been holding you back for so long, how it started in the first place and what is it, that is really frightening you.

For most people, fear of change applies particularly to relationships, which almost certainly started in childhood, especially if you were surrounded by anxious parents or other relatives. In extreme cases many of those affected are prepared to put up with mental and physical abuse because the alternative seems worse – but what are those alternatives? As far as the victim is concerned that could be fear of loneliness, fear of not seeing children or close friends, fear of financial instability – how long do you want this list to be?

Somehow that long list of fears gets wrapped up under the change umbrella – so let’s start by looking at the worst case scenario. If you leave that relationship will everything really collapse? In extreme cases – yes, that could happen and then you have to ask yourself is freedom worth the risk and if you are unwilling to make that step then at least you confronted your fears and made the decision that you considered best for you.

But for the majority of others, the world will not collapse and when you confront your fears by using lashings of common sense, a key part of powerful positive thinking. Your children will not stop loving you, good friends never leave, you will not be homeless or lonely forever because when you make that decision you will have made a plan of action, you would have asked for help and while it is a huge wrench the relief you feel will be worth it.

It might be rocky for a few weeks but we humans adapt and learn very quickly and you will soon find that most if not all of your fears were totally unfounded. This not only applies to relationships – you could have the same scenario for leaving a job, moving home, starting a business, you confront your fears, work out the possible outcomes with common sense and then take action.

Ok! You have checked out all the hard work, you are ready to make that change and reject your fears so where is the bright new future – that better alternative? Can’t you see it – that fantastic new life, your dreams and aspirations have always been there – you have just been too afraid to follow them through.

Now comes the best bit of powerful positive thinking. Start by dusting down those dreams – they never really went away. If they are realistic then they are yours for the asking. Write them down in as much detail as you wish. Describe the action you are going to take to ensure delivery and then destroy your piece of paper in the faith that your order has been received and is ready in the universal warehouse.

The magic formula for success and for breaking the fear of change really lies with you. You always had the power to find freedom, it was only fear that held you back and until you confront those fears you can never accept them for what they really are – just fears – not how your future works out. From here on in, you make those decisions, you create your own reality and the universe will deliver what you think.

Freedom is yours – so let’s start the process.

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Fear of rejection – then get a strategy

Your eyes met for the briefest of moments, you may have even exchanged the merest trace of a smile – and then – c’mon, quickly, I want to hear the rest – and then, nothing. You blew it at the vital moment and learned the stark reality of what happens when you embrace the fear of rejection.

You desperately wanted to say something, but the words would not come, because you thought the object of your affections would find you boring, ugly or stupid. It’s not my job to be negative so you have a go – I am sure you can find plenty of words to put yourself down – that’s what fear of rejection can do for your self-esteem.

Most of us overcome these early adolescent fears, put them down to childhood experience and move on with their lives. They quickly realise that the person they most wanted to talk to when they were young was equally nervous and worried about rejection. It’s an essential part of growing up into a balanced adult.

Find out about brain training techniques that eliminate fear. Click here

But for some the fear of rejection never goes away. It seeps into their lives affecting relationships and employment opportunities. They will never put forward an original idea, ask for help or try to pursue a relationship.

Fear of rejection is so engrained they believe they are unworthy or will be laughed at or ridiculed, so humiliated that they will never be able to face the world again – so they withdraw into themselves, become more introverted and isolated – never offering an opinion and never contributing to a conversation.

In time the few friends they have will gradually drift away and the downward spiral continues, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Interestingly, those that fear rejection the most are usually the most intelligent, can solve problems quickly and easily and given the right platform can be incredibly entertaining.

The trouble is – they think too much – quickly work out a worst case scenario when dealing with others, assume that this will actually happen and then decide that is probably not worth the risk. To cover up their reticence they may contribute something totally irrelevant into a conversation which causes some mild amusement – further confirming everything they thought would happen.

It is difficult to introduce positive thinking into your life when you are so used to worrying about rejection, but not impossible, but first you need to know what rejection really means and get it into some sort of perspective or context. If you really feel that others will not accept you due to feelings of low self-worth, then you – with help from positive thinking – can do something about it. Please check out my blogs on low self-esteem where I go into more detail.

Low self-esteem aside, fear of rejection is really about fear of taking a risk and if it all goes wrong from time to time it is not always all about you. “But, if I ask that person out on a date and they say no I will be devastated.”  Yes, you will be upset, but why assume that you were unworthy when there could just as easily have been many other good reasons for that refusal.

Think about it for a while. That person might not be ready for any kind of relationship right now, they might be committed to someone else, they could be equally fearful of becoming involved – it is not always about you.

Could be that you are worried about contributing ideas in a business context, afraid that others will think you are stupid. It’s an understandable fear but once again, it’s not about you – you must separate yourself from fear of rejection and adopt instead a positive thinking strategy – it goes something like this.

If fear of rejection is such a worry then build in what I call “a get out of jail free card.” It is a full back up situation should you feel the worst has happened. In a business situation it can work something like this.

When you put forward your idea preface it with words such as: “I might be wrong” or “I am not sure I fully understand this” or “this might sound like nonsense” – then you put in your idea as a question such as “what do you think about this?”

It’s really just common sense but it has enabled you to get into the game and do you know what – the best ideas sound stupid at the time but frequently act as a catalyst for something else to evolve – you would have made that happen.

Use your get out of jail free card in relationships. It doesn’t have to be the direct will you come out with me statement. Preface any approach so that if rejection happens then no one need be upset or offended and you have to realise that once again – it’s not about you.

If you are thinking that you have already tried these things you then have to use positive thinking to accept that rejection is part of life from time to time and learn to respect the decisions of others. Then you can allow yourself to be upset, but do not let it stop you getting back into the game – everyone gets rejected from time to time – just ask any aspiring actor or dancer.

It’s natural to feel a little hurt after getting rejected, but it’s important that you don’t let yourself become afraid of rejection in the future or it will continue to blight your life for ever. So start that strategy now and you will see that people do not think you are worthless or stupid – they see you for who you really are – a very unique person – and a brave one as well.

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