Who gave you permission to feel useless – it stops here

I find it very strange that some take such delight in criticising others. They seem to get pleasure in making other people miserable by undermining their peace of mind and making them feel inadequate. When this happens over a long period they will finally succeed in making the target of their comments feel unworthy.

We see this in schools where groups gang up on other pupils, more often on social media, using vile language to undermine and we frequently see the tragic consequences of such actions, where the vulnerable have been pushed to the very brink of suicide and sadly beyond.

We see this in abusive relationships where one bullying partner continuously undermines the other with vile comments until thy finally break. We see it in the work place from aggressive bosses and workmates.

If this is you then it’s about time you fought back and reclaimed your self-esteem. They may have sapped your feelings of worth; they may have dented your courage, you may even have forgotten the person you used to be – but it stops now.

I am not suggesting for a minute that you should confront anyone, why give them the satisfaction of thinking they have got to you in anyway. You are better than that because you are going to take your life back again, you are going to hold your head up high and amaze the world.

It starts with your commitment to be a powerful positive person. Others have allowed you to concentrate on the negative and have slowly filled your head with their garbage so it’s time to take it down the tip where it rightfully belongs.

Start by writing down how you feel now and how you have been made to feel. If the mental abuse has been going on for some time it might be a very long list, but that doesn’t matter – let it all pour out on to that piece of paper and you will immediately start to feel a little better.

When you have let it all out than write this sentence underneath: “These feeling and negative emotions no longer have any place in my life.” Put it in big bold letters so that the Universe gets the message and when you are ready, destroy it in the most dramatic way you can think of. It is your way of sending out that message and making sure it gets delivered.

I then want you to forget about it because it’s all in the past and there is no reason to ever bring it up again. If you keep thinking about this message then the Universe will incorrectly assume that you are missing your past misery – and will ensure that it is sent right back to you.

Now we need to concentrate on the new you so let’s start again with list number two. This is where you write down the person you used to be, vibrant, confident and just for good measure add a bit more such as – “I am a winner, I am beautiful (handsome), people like me and enjoy my company, I am good fun to be with.”

Once again, you can make this list as long as you like. There is no one else on the planet quite like you so feel free to indulge yourself – after all – you have waited long enough. When you are happy with your list, then once again, destroy it and totally forget all about it to allow the Universe to do its work.

Concentrate instead on list number three which covers the common sense actions you intend to take towards the new you. You do not have to destroy or forget about this one because this is a key part of your positive thinking strategy.

So what might those actions be?  Everyone is different but you might start with the decision to distance yourself from your tormentors. You might want to look for new friends, change your job, join a club – you choose as long as it is something that makes you happy.

And here comes the best bit, every day I want you to stand in front of the biggest mirror in your home and say out out loud: “ I am fantastic, I am a winner, I am a success, I am loved” and just for the hell of it, think up a few others if it makes you feel good.

Before I go I suppose I should also let into a little secret regarding people who put down others. The Universe doesn’t like it very much and when these people are spitting out their negative bile then all they guarantee is that sooner or later it comes straight back at them – magnified tenfold.

So spare a thought for the nasty people – in the long term they are the only victims of their negativity – and maybe we should feel sorry for them. Nahhhhhh! Me neither.

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